


Damn It, Hold It Together

by fritzfics



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Oral Sex, Post-Star Trek Beyond, Star Trek Beyond, Star Trek Beyond Spoilers, Star Trek: Into Darkness Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-22
Updated: 2017-08-03
Packaged: 2018-12-05 13:33:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 17,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11579091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fritzfics/pseuds/fritzfics
Summary: From the moment Krall’s swarm attacked the ship, every crewmember had to work to stay alive.  Each and every one of them were under incredible stress.  Physicians are made and forged under stress, but even they have a breaking point. Watching Jim risk his life – again – pushed Leonard to his, and the outcome surprised even Leonard.This is a behind-the-scenes and extended scenes look at the end ofStar Trek Beyondfrom Bones’s POV.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I’d like to thank, once again, my wonderful beta, Caitri, who makes my words sound more coherent and allows me to bounce ideas off from her. I couldn’t do it without her. Any mistakes are my own.
> 
> I also need to acknowledged that I borrowed – took - dialogue directly from _Star Trek Beyond_ movie, which should be credited to the screenplay writers, Simon Pegg and Doug Jung. A screenplay that I must say was brilliant. 
> 
> **Disclaimer:** This wonderful universe is own by Paramount, Gene Roddenberry, JJ Abrams and a host of others. I make no money off this. I am truly only here to play.

**Chapter One**  


_Chapter Summary: After two harrowing days apart – courtesy of Krall – the Enterprise crew is back with each other. Now if only Leonard could hold it together and get through the next 24-hours._

All this time, Leonard had kept his shit together. Damn it, he was a doctor. He had to. 

He didn’t fall apart when he kept Spock alive on that fucking planet with nothing but his wits, a piece of scrap metal, and an alien phaser. And he didn’t freak out when he was left facing those swarm ships on his own either. 

And did anyone see him crumble to pieces when the dynamic duo put him back in this godforsaken swarm ship? Hell no!

But _this_? This was god damn killing him. 

He listened as Scotty detailed the precise way that Jim had to execute the opening of the maintenance hatch and exit the chamber, all before the vent recycled. If he couldn’t, Jim would risk the very good possibility of either flying into that damn big fan or being sucked out into space.

It was déjà fucking vu. Dear Lord, _please_. Not again.

“Damn it, Jim! You’ll never make it out in time.”

Leonard flew the ship around the plaza and the maintenance tower, barely taking his eyes off from Krall and the bioweapon crawling all around him. Krall was floating just feet away from Jim, who was trying with all his might to get the lever pulled. 

“Spock! Get ready to get that hatch open. You’re gonna have to pull Jim in.” Spock ran to the back of the ship, stumbling and bracing himself with his arms with each sharp movement of the ship.

The transparent hatch on the atmospheric regulator chamber opened while their ship was on the far side of the plaza. His heart dropped down into his stomach when Krall and the weapon flew out towards the huge fan. Jim was hanging on for dear life, swatting at the lever. The lucky bastard must have hit it because the aperture in the middle of the fan opened its yawning mouth, revealing the airlock tube to the deadly blackness of space. Krall and the bioweapon shot through the opening. 

“Spock! Get ready!”

For a second, Jim hung on the edge of the chamber’s hatch as their ship came around again. But before they could get there to save him, Jim lost his grip and followed Krall to the dark opening. Jim’s arms flailed, his mouth opened in a silent scream, as he tried to fight against the slipstream that was sucking him towards the maintenance hatch. 

_Oh, shit!_ Panic spurred Leonard as he raced the broken ship towards the aperture, pushing it to its limits. Maneuvering purely by instinct, he placed the ship between Jim and that gaping hole of death. 

“Now, Spock!” 

The pressure in the ship changed as Spock opened the dorsal hatch. Leonard ascended quickly, hearing Jim hit and tumble down the top of the hull. He prayed like he had never prayed before that the Vulcan was strong enough to get Jim inside. He didn’t even dare turn around to look. He felt the small ship jerk back and forth, and he worked to compensate for the force batting at them. It was taking all his concentration and strength to keep the crippled ship in place. It would be a death sentence for them all if they were pulled into the airlock. 

Spock grunted as he grabbed at Jim, wrestling against the strength of the slipstream around them, trying to pull Jim inside. After the longest ten seconds in the history of relative time, two loud thumps echoed through the ship. Only then did Leonard let himself look. 

Relief surged through him. “Whoo-hoo!” he exclaimed as he hit the switch by his side to close the door. He raced the ship away from the opening of the maintenance hatch. The glorious sound of Jim sucking in lungsful of air echoed through the interior of the little ship.

“What would I do without you, Spock?” Jim asked.

Leonard mentally seconded that sentiment. Between Spock and him, they were ninety percent of the reason why that hair-brained moron was still alive. 

“Jim, are you hurt?” Leonard called back to him. His fingers itched to examine the damn fool, and worry was still making his heart pound. 

“Nah, Bones. I’m fine.” 

That wasn’t a definitive answer. As long as he had all his limbs and wasn’t bleeding profusely, Jim always said he was fine.

“Alright then. Get your ass up here and help me figure out how to land this damn thing.” 

Not that he couldn’t eventually figure it out himself – he did have pilot’s training and an up-to-date certificate, thanks to Jim’s needling – but he needed to see the man’s injuries himself rather than rely on Jim’s cockeyed assessment. 

“Be right there, Bones.” Jim groaned, and a few moments later, he appeared at Leonard’s side. Abrasions covered half of Jim’s face, and the stiff way he was holding himself spoke volumes. Jim’s blue eyes swept over the controls surrounding the pilot’s seat. Within seconds, he pointed at the middle panel, grimacing with the motion. “There. Just swing around to the central plaza and reduce your speed. That should be the landing gear you need.” 

Leonard quirked his eyebrow. “ _Should_ be?” 

Jim shot him a quick smile as he moved his arm with a stiff, measured motion, carefully clapping Leonard on his back before pulling out his communicator. No pain or discomfort was evident in Jim’s voice, even though it was damn well unmistakable in how he was moving. “Scotty, have them clear all personnel off from the City Plaza. Bones is coming in for a landing.” 

“Will do, Capt’n. Glad to hear you’re in one piece, sir.”

“You and me both, Scotty.” 

In one piece. Leonard rolled his eyes. Yeah, in a pig’s eye. 

Holding the communicator in one hand, Jim’s other one returned to rest on Leonard’s shoulder. It might look like a comforting gesture, but Leonard could feel the support Jim needed in order to brace himself for each of the ship’s turns. 

Jim was starting to feel each and every one of those injuries now. Leonard would just bet on it. 

He made a dozen or more circles above the plaza before it was cleared enough to land. Decelerating, he hovered above the ground, hitting the button Jim had indicating. The noise of the landing gear deploying and locking into place reverberated through the small ship. Jim shot him a smirk. He ignored Jim as he settled the ship down on the ground. 

Jim reached forward, punching various buttons, effectively shutting down the engines, before returning stiffly to an upright position. He stifled a moan. Leonard pushed himself off the slanted pilot’s seat, glad to be out of that uncomfortable position, but he made sure he didn’t knock Jim’s hand off his shoulder. Jim was still gripping it hard. 

“The ship’s all yours, Mr. Scott,” Jim said into his communicator. He gave Leonard’s shoulder a little squeeze before dropping his hand. 

The excitement was clear in Scotty’s voice. “Thank you, sir! Jaylah and I will be right down.” 

“Don’t say I’ve never gave you anything, Scotty,” Jim said. 

“Never, sir!” 

Jim flipped his communicator shut and stowed it in his pocket as he looked back at Spock in the posterior section of the ship. “Spock, why don’t you accompany Bones to the Medbay and get those injuries taken care of with instruments that aren’t from the ‘Dark Ages.’” 

Like Jim should talk.

Spock stood behind them, his normally straight stance slouching to the right. Damn it, he most likely tore something when he pulled Jim inside. “But Captain…”

Leonard’s jaw hurt with how tight he was grinding his teeth. Good God, these two were a fucking pair of idiots. He opened his mouth to lambast the Vulcan.

“That’s an order, Spock,” Jim said, beating Leonard to it. “Uhura will most likely be there, too. You can call and confirm on your way.” He made his way to the side of the ship and slid the release on the starboard airlock, the movement slow and tentative. Leonard rushed forward as Jim stepped one foot out of the swarm ship. 

Leonard grabbed onto Jim’s arm with a gentle hold, mindful of his injuries. “Just where do you think you’re goin’?” 

Jim started to turn. “I –” He stopped abruptly, his shoulders hunching, as he blew out a small, pained breath. “I have to debrief Commodore Paris.” 

“The hell you do,” Leonard grumbled. He reached back and grabbed Spock with his other hand, tugging them out to the plaza. “Both of you are going to go to the nearest functioning Medbay to get fixed up.”

“I’m fine, Bones.”

 _That’s_ when Leonard lost it. 

“Jim, get your ass to that Medbay, or I swear to God, I’ll find a dozen different ways to ground you for a week!”

Jim dug in his heels. “Bones…”

“Don’t push me, Jim,” Leonard said softly through his gritted teeth. “I saw you gettin’ the crap beat out of you by Krall. In fact, I had a goddamn front-row seat! You’d be lucky if your left cheekbone hasn’t been damaged, and I know damn well that fuckin’ asshole cracked or bruised a rib or two of yours by the way you’re moving.” He jerked on both of their arms, eliciting a pained squeak from Jim, and hauled them towards the door of Yorktown Headquarters in front of them. “So get your ass to Medbay, and _that’s_ an order!” he spat out. 

“It seems as if Dr. McCoy is in one of his moods,” Spock said to Jim. 

“Not now, Spock,” Jim warned as he followed meekly by Leonard’s side, his arm grasped tightly by Leonard. 

Leonard was still fuming when he shoved both of them into two biobeds in the Medbay that had been turned over solely for the treatment of the _Enterprise_ crew. Station and able-bodied ship’s medical personnel were running around, treating the crewmembers hurt, whether it was in the initial swarm attack or when the _Franklin_ made that perilous ascent up to the plaza.

He directed a nearby nurse to scan Spock and use an actual protoplaser from this century on the Vulcan’s internal injuries. As CMO of the _Enterprise_ , he was in charge of the dumb shit in front of him, now trying to weasel his way out of being there. 

“Bones, just give me half an hour to make my report, and I swear…” Jim made a motion to get up off the bed and winced. 

“Move off this bed, and I’ll use the restraints,” Leonard said. He was dead serious.

Jim groaned – whether in resignation or in pain, Leonard didn’t know – and settled back down. Leonard grabbed a tricorder and scanner off the side table and used them to check Jim’s injuries, ignoring the biobed screen above Jim’s head. 

“Yep, I was right,” he informed Jim while he circled Jim’s head with the scanner. “You have a hairline fracture of your left zygomatic bone, abrasions over the left side of your face, contusions under your right eye – you’re gonna have one hell of a shiner – and topping it off, a slight concussion. You’re goddam lucky it’s only a grade 0.8.”

Laying the medical instruments by Jim’s side, he turned to the side table, digging in the lower drawers. He pulled out the needed hypospray and swung back to Jim, jabbing it into Jim’s neck. 

“Ow!” Jim scowled at him. “You did that hard on purpose!” 

Brushing him off, Leonard dropped the empty hypospray back on the table top and picked up the tricorder and scanner again. “There, that will take care of the concussion. Let’s see what other things you have in store for me.” 

“Well, it’s not like I did this just to bug you, you know,” Jim muttered under his breath.

Ignoring the remark, he directed the scanner down Jim’s neck and over his chest, tutting at what the tricorder was showing him. “You have hairline fractures of your seventh and tenth ribs and bruising around four others. Nurse,” he called out to a passing station personnel, “get me an osteo-regenerator.” He looked Jim in the eye. “You’re gonna need at least one to two hours under it to repair the damage that son-of-bitch did to you.” 

_Shit._ Just saying that brought it all back in bright, full-blown color and sound in Leonard’s head. The helplessness, the terror, the pain of watching Jim – once again – sacrifice himself for others. How close Jim came to dying. The sudden strength of the maelstrom of emotions inside of him scared the crap out of him, and he had to swallow hard against the pain trying to overwhelm him. 

Jim must have seen something on his face. “Bones,” he said softly as he reached for Leonard’s hand, which was shaking. 

“Not now, Jim,” Leonard whispered back, pulling his hand out of reach by placing the scanner and tricorder on the side table. He wouldn’t be able to do his job if he let out even a smidgen of what he had suppressed these last two days. “Wait ‘til later.”

Jim’s eyes wouldn’t leave his face. They tracked his every move. His concern for Leonard was written all over him. Even that was too much for Leonard to bear right now. He was going to lose it if he didn’t get away.

The nurse appeared back at his side, and Leonard glanced at the bars on the neck of his Yorktown uniform. “What’s your name, Lieutenant?” 

“Simmons, sir," the man replied, holding out the osteo-regenerator that Leonard had requested. 

“Thanks.” He placed the device beside Jim on the biobed.

Pushing Jim’s uniform jacket open, he carefully sliced Jim’s undershirt up the middle with a scissors that Simmons had handed to him, revealing Jim’s golden skin. It was already sporting deep-colored bruises. Leonard grabbed the osteo-regenerator and placed it on Jim’s lower chest, over the area of one of the fractures, and turned it on. “Keep that there for half an hour. Move it to the next rib for another half hour, and then use a protoplaser to heal the contusions in the rest of his chest. Then, use both of them on his face,” he directed the nurse observing the current treatment. 

“Yes, sir.” Simmons’s voice held a note of confusion. All Starfleet nurses knew that one of the primary duties of a CMO was the treatment of his or her captain’s injuries. After a moment’s hesitation, Simmons stepped up alongside Jim’s biobed and programmed the necessary time into the device as directed.

Leonard grabbed the tricorder and handed it to the nurse. He could barely control the shaking of his hands. “Here’s the scans I ran on Captain Kirk.” 

Jim had been silently watching the exchange, and Leonard looked down on him for a second. “I’ll call Commodore Paris and see if she can come down here for your initial debriefing,” he said in conciliation before making a strategic retreat. 

“Bones,” Jim called out, but Leonard ignored him, darting into the empty attending physician’s office at the end of the Medbay to make the call. Taking deep breaths and calling on every technique to calm down and get control of himself, he commed and arranged for Commodore Paris to debrief Jim while he was healing in Medbay. 

And then he busied himself for the next five hours, fulfilling his other duties as Chief Medical Officer of the _Enterprise_ , making sure that each and every crewmember was taken care of. Not a single minute was spent idle. He noted Commodore Paris’s visit to the Medbay, but he hadn’t seen when Jim left. That was okay with him. He reviewed Simmons’s notes about Jim’s treatment results instead. The lieutenant had done a good job. 

Now, with his last medical report of the day completed and his debriefing statement long sent, Leonard stood up from behind the desk in the office and eased back his shoulders. The vertebrae in his back cracked as he stretched, and the corresponding muscles complained loudly. He picked up what had been his sixth, seventh, or twentieth cup of coffee from the desk and downed what was left of it, grimacing when the dregs hit his throat. 

God, what a fucking day.

Leonard placed the cup back on the desk before exiting the office. He was so tired he was damn near ready to fall onto one of the biobeds to sleep. He stopped. Ah, shit. His shoulders slumped. No one had given him his room assignment like they did with the rest of the _Enterprise_ crew who had been in Medbay. He had no damn idea of where he was supposed to sleep tonight. 

“Great, just great,” he muttered to himself. He blew out a tired breath and rubbed his hand over his face. Now he’d have to waste time, going up to the Station’s Quartermaster, in order to work out this bureaucratic snafu. He looked over to the empty biobeds along the far wall. Maybe he could make do with one of them.

A Yorktown medbay assistant walked up to him and held out a PADD. “Dr. McCoy?” His room assignment. Oh, thank God. Leonard grabbed the PADD. “Captain Kirk wanted you to have this when you were finished.” 

His heart lurched. Crap. This _wasn’t_ his room assignment. 

“Thank you,” Leonard said, remembering his manners at the last moment before she walked away. 

He turned on the PADD and forced himself to log onto his messages. _“Come to my quarters immediately after you’re done. And_ that’s _an order.”_ Jim had included the directions. 

Shit. Could the day get any better? Jim sounded pissed. Leonard rubbed his fingers over his brow as he contemplated his options. Ah hell. Guess it was time to face the music. 

Leonard surveyed the darkened, nearly empty bay as he walked towards the door. Only five crewmembers were staying overnight for treatment of their injuries, and that wasn’t bad. Things could have been worse.

Leaving them in the capable hands of the Yorktown medical staff, he left Medbay and exited the building into the night. The area outside was ablaze with emergency lighting. Repair crews scurried around, while security personnel stood guard. Consulting the PADD, he took a left and skirted the damage caused by the _Franklin’s_ abrupt landing on the plaza. Leonard kept his eyes focused on the PADD as he made his way around the whole spectacle, blatantly ignoring the swarm ship sitting off to the right. 

That was the last thing he needed to see. 

He walked along four rows of trees, the path lit by more subdued lighting, until he came to a shorter building with two towers, tucked on the very edge of the plaza. “Wouldn’t you know it?” Leonard muttered to himself. Just a damn hop, skip, and a jump from Yorktown Headquarters. Where was a good 20-minute walk when you wanted to drag your feet? Releasing a resigned sigh, he entered the building and used the main turbolift to get to Jim’s floor. 

Leonard stood in front of Jim’s door, and the weariness of the last two days sank deep into his bones. God, he just needed to be by himself with a finger or two of bourbon in a glass and a nice, soft bed. Was that so much to ask? He did not want to have this showdown now. But if he avoided Jim, it would only postpone it for an hour – two hours at the max. Leonard knew from experience that the man would hunt him down.

Gathering his courage, he straightened his spine to give himself some modicum of strength and rang the chime. The door swished opened, and Leonard forced his feet to move and walk in. 

Jim stood in the middle of a large living area, dressed in a station uniform, holding a PADD that he’d must have been working on. A frown appeared on his face as he took in Leonard, who was still standing inside the door, just out of sensor range. 

“Why did you ring the bell?” Jim asked. “The sensor was keyed to you like always.”

Leonard shrugged. “Didn’t want to presume, I guess.” 

Jim sighed loudly and raised his eyes towards the heavens in a “help me Lord” manner. He walked over to the left side of the room where an actual wooden desk sat against the wall. There was a comm unit on it, its screen black and idle, and Jim laid his PADD down beside a small stack of others on the desk. He fiddled with the PADDs, his mouth fixed in a straight line as he mulled something over.

The silence fell heavy around them, too damn heavy for comfort, and it made Leonard squirm. Not knowing what else to do, he made his way further into the living room. His eyes drifted all around, taking in the stately features and comforts of the room. Plush furniture in blues and tans were situated throughout the spacious area. He approached a round dining table, which was as far across the room from Jim as possible, and placed his own PADD down beside an arrangement of brightly colored flowers that sat in the middle. 

Nearby, two small, dark blue couches flanked the large, floor-to-ceiling windows that overlooked the city plaza and the spire-like building of Yorktown Headquarters. Guess it made sense that Commodore Paris would want Jim close by.

He walked over and paused in front of the windows. Jim’s quarters also had a damn front-row view to the spiraling, interlocking city rings and ship lane arms, weaving their way around the interior of the station’s sphere in their topsy-turvy fashion.

A person could develop a good case of vertigo, concentrating on that mess, even at night. 

“Bones,” Jim said softly, right behind him.

Leonard jumped, his heart taking off, hammering away in his chest. “Jesus, Jim!” he complained as he backed up to the window, putting more distance between them. “Warn a guy before you sneak the hell up on him.” 

Undeterred, Jim stepped closer. “Bones,” Jim repeated in a voice barely above a whisper, his hands out in front of him, like he was trying to calm a frightened animal.

Shit, now Leonard was boxed in. Jim would cut off any escape routes if Leonard tried to move away. 

The determined set of Jim’s jaw told Leonard that much. 

But a whole different message came from the rest of Jim. His eyes were imploring Leonard to look at him. The worried look on his face was pleading with Leonard to open up like Jim had wanted him to do in Medbay. 

And the emotions simmering inside of Leonard reacted, bubbling up in his chest, trying their best to escape. Fuck! Not again.

Damn it. He was a doctor, not an emotional teenager. He was stronger than this. Other people fell apart, but not him. 

He inhaled a large breath, tamping down hard to gain control. He just needed to keep it together for a little while longer. All he needed was a good night’s sleep, and he’d be back to normal and in control in the morning. 

Leonard averted his eyes. From his advantage point, he could see into the kitchen and noticed a hallway that most likely led to the bed and bathroom. “Nice place,” he commented, his voice tight with tension. He cleared his throat. 

“Bones,” Jim said, quietly admonishing Leonard. “That’s not going work.” 

“What’s not gonna work?” Try as he might, his traitorous eyes returned to Jim. 

“What happened down there?” he asked, ignoring Leonard’s attempt at evasion. Jim’s brow furrowed. “You looked like you were close to losing it.” 

The sincerity and concern Jim was showing him yanked on Leonard’s tentative control, and something inside him broke. Everything – all the hurt, pain, and anguish – burst to the surface against his will, and he sucked in a wobbly breath. Oh fuck, he was going to cry. 

“God damn it,” Leonard muttered brokenly as he slammed his eyes shut. He clenched his hands hard at his side, trying to hold back his tears. 

Jim’s fingers stroked over the top of Leonard’s hand, their gentle touch loosening something in his chest as well as his fist. Jim entwined their hands. A small pull, and he was encased in familiar, comforting arms. “It’s okay. I got you,” Jim whispered. 

A ragged breath escaped him as he laid his head down on Jim’s strong shoulder. Jim held him tightly as waves of fear, anger, and sorrow left him, and he gripped the back of Jim’s uniform top, keeping the man from pulling away. 

After his emotional storm slowed down and then dissipated, Leonard let out a long, cleansing breath. Jim kissed his forehead. “Sorry about that,” Leonard said into the side of Jim’s neck. 

Jim drew back, releasing him from the hug, only to grasp his face in those big, warm hands of his. Jim gave him a small, sweet smile, his own eyes moist, and placed a loving kiss on his lips. “Better out than in, as you always say.” Jim cleared away the tear tracks on Leonard’s cheeks with his thumbs. 

Bones harrumphed as he wiped the bottom of his nose on the cuff of his shirt sleeve, embarrassed at his behavior. “When do I ever say that?”

“Usually when I’m throwing up something that I shouldn’t have eaten in the first place.” Jim gave him another small kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Do you wanna talk about it?” 

“Nah,” Bones said, shaking his head. “Just too much shit, outside of my comfort zone, being thrown at me these last two days. That’s all.” Bones sighed. “Not knowing if you were dead or alive, being one of them.” 

“Ditto, Bones.”

“Yeah, but you’ve died on me before.” The pain of that time was still as acute as a knife stab to his gut if he let himself think about it.

Jim quirked his eyebrows and dipped his head to the side, as if conceding that point to Leonard. “But I didn’t know if you had even gotten off the ship, let alone if you and Spock had survived the crash or had gotten taken by Krall’s swarm.” 

...And in true Kirk fashion, he couldn’t leave it there. Of course not.

“I didn’t know the same _damn_ thing about you,” Leonard shot back. “Plus, I knew with those things attacking our ship it would only be a matter of time before you were hightailing it off the bridge, runnin’ right into danger, trying to figure out a way to defeat them.” Jim shifted his eyes away, trying to hide the flash of guilt. “Ha, thought so. Least Spock and I were trying to get away from them.” 

“Yeah, but then I had to send you right into Krall’s camp armed with just a damn phaser.” 

“But I agreed to it.”

“I was scared shitless when I saw you, standing out there totally exposed with nothing to hide behind, trying to fend off all those drone soldiers.” A cloud passed over Jim’s face. 

Leonard didn’t let the sight deter him. Not when this particular memory was going to be playing in his nightmare scenarios for a long time. “You forget, I had to watch _you_ and your damn fool head on that death-trap of a machine, zippin’ around like some stupid target practice at a county fair just waitin’ to be shot.” Leonard jerked his head up, further dismissing Jim’s last point. “Besides, you provided coverage for us with that goo stuff of Jaylah’s.” 

“Ah, but I had to order you and Spock to fly that ship and go right into the heart of the swarm.”

“What are you talkin’ about? You and the _Franklin_ did the same thing, not really knowin’ if our fool-hearty plan was going to work.” 

“But I was the one that had to give the order,” Jim said quietly, “when I knew you were afraid to go. That one you didn’t agree to.” 

Just as quietly, Bones replied, “I had to watch you fight that insane man and the fucking clock, once again trying to save us and the rest of the whole damn universe. When I knew you weren’t going to make it –“ Leonard’s throat closed up. 

Jim rubbed his thumbs back and forth over Leonard’s cheeks in soothing circles. “You and Spock were there – again – right where I needed you to be.” Jim released a sigh that was almost a chuckle. “Saving my ass like you always do, Bones.” 

“But all those times,” Leonard said, the words tearing their way out of his throat, “I had to act as if we were just friends. I couldn’t let on how fucking scared I was or how concerned I was for you. I couldn’t show how damn glad I was that you were alive.” _This_ was getting to the heart of Leonard’s pain. The regret was so thick it was practically choking him, making it hard to get the words out. “I was so damn … jealous … of Spock and Uhura every time they were able to do that for each other.” 

A look of understanding swept over Jim’s face before he pointed out, “You were the one that didn’t want anyone to know about us, Bones. Remember? I wanted to shout it from the mountaintops.” 

They had been in a serious relationship for almost two years now, having come slowly and tentatively together after the whole Khan and dying thing. It was Leonard who didn’t want people to know, thinking some of the crew and Command might raise an eyebrow or two about them. Jim had said fuck ‘em, but Leonard had won out. 

Leonard sighed. “Yeah, I know. And believe me, I was kicking myself today…. With pointed-toe cowboy boots.”

A laugh escaped Jim, and a small ray of hope lit his eyes. He shifted his arms and pulled Leonard close, rubbing his hand up and down Leonard’s back. “Does this mean you’ve changed your mind?”

Did it? Part of him was scared to reveal any personal things on that ship. The busybodies would have a field day with this, and damn it, he was a private man. Who _knew_ what Command would think? 

But a bigger part was telling him that he didn’t give a damn anymore. He was tired of hiding his feelings for Jim. Tired of pretending it was just a friendship between them. He wanted what Uhura and Spock had…or would soon have again, if he read things right. 

Jim was waiting patiently for his answer. “So?”

“Yeah, I think so. I want people to know,” Leonard told him. 

The biggest grin he ever saw filled Jim’s face. “It’s about damn time!” Jim broke away. “I know a maintenance tower that I can shout it from before you change your mind.” 

Leonard grabbed him and encircled Jim with his arms. “Like _hell_ you are. You’re not goin’ anywhere near that goddamn thing again,” Leonard grumbled. “I promise that we can announce it tomorrow. Consider it a birthday present.” 

“Great! I’m holding you to that.”

“Yeah, and I’m holding you to telling Command and dealing with the fallout.”

“Pff,” Jim scoffed. “Bones, we just saved Yorktown, and if Spock is right, quite possibly the Federation itself. I think we can basically write our own tickets about our relationship.” He grew contemplative. “You know, this is probably the best possible time for going public.” 

That thought gave Leonard a little bit of hope.

“Now, since you won’t let me get near any mountaintops or maintenance towers to declare my love for you, how about retiring to a bed that I’d like to get near right about now for a private declaration?” Jim gave a devilish lift to his eyebrows. 

Leonard raised his own eyebrow. “Would you now? How near are we goin’ get?”

Jim grabbed his hand and showed him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leonard had promised Jim that he would tell people about them. It was his birthday present to Jim. Now if he could just hold it together and not die from embarrassment while he did it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again I have to thank my great beta, Caitri. She can make even little suggestions and corrections have the biggest impact. Her insight and knowledge about all things is amazing! Thank you, Caitri! I couldn’t do this without you!
> 
> That being said, I’ve tinkered with this, so any and all mistakes are all my own.

**Chapter Two**

Leonard woke up slowly. He was in his favorite spot, wrapped around Jim’s warm back with his arm resting against Jim’s chest, their legs entwined. His hand moved up and down with Jim’s slow breaths. They didn’t have many days like this, where they woke up in the morning, together in a soft, comfortable bed. Only the ones stolen on shore leave when the crew wasn’t around. 

Now this was a luxury he could get used to. And because he got over himself and got a damn clue, he could have this every morning with Jim.

The magic-like alertness that Jim seemed to possess, the one that wouldn’t let him sleep when others were awake around him, kicked in. Jim inhaled deeply before he pulled Leonard’s arm tighter across his chest. 

“Mornin’,” Jim mumbled in a sleepy, content voice. 

Leonard placed a kiss on the base of Jim’s neck. “Mornin’, darlin’. Happy birthday.”

Jim hummed in satisfaction. “Boy, I could get used to this.”

“That’s funny. I’d been thinkin’ the exact same thing.”

Jim flipped over onto his back before turning to face Leonard. “Glad to hear that. That means you’re not changing your mind.” He slipped his bottom arm under the pillow and pulled it under his head. 

Leonard kissed his favorite upper lip and said, “Nope. Not changing my mind at all.” He reached down and brought the sheet that had fallen down with Jim’s twisting back up to their waists. 

“And you’ll be telling people today,” Jim said in a firm, insistent voice as he stared at Leonard. 

Leonard frowned. “Well, I’m not gonna stop people on the street, but don’t worry. The right people will know we’re together.” Smiling like the stinker he was, it looked like Leonard had just given Jim a bright idea. Leonard quickly changed the subject. “Do you wanna go out later for your birthday? Lunch or maybe a drink or two in the afternoon?” 

“Yeah, that would be nice. I do need to drop in and report to Commodore Paris this morning and give her my final report, though, since _someone_ kept me from doing that yesterday.”

“Hey! You got to give her a preliminary report, so don’t complain.” 

Jim kissed him, basically to keep him from grousing any longer. It worked. 

“I do need to talk to you about something else, though, before I go,” Jim said after he ended the kiss and Leonard was pliant in Jim’s arms. 

“Sounds serious. Something about us?” Leonard frowned as a nugget of worry started to form in his stomach. 

“No,” Jim said in a rush. “Well, not directly. You know that conversation we had in the _Enterprise’s_ bar?”

Leonard paused, thinking for a moment. “You mean the one two days ago where you didn’t know who Jim Kirk really was?”

“Yeah.”

“What about it?” 

“I know who he is now.”

“You don’t say.” Leonard couldn’t help but smile at the confidence Jim was exuding. “Go on.”

“I want to stay a captain.”

What? Leonard drew back. “ _Stay_ a captain? What the hell are you talking about, Jim?”

“Well, you see,” Jim said with a small, sheepish smile, “there was this Vice-Admiral’s position open here on the station, and I … sort of applied for it.”

“How the _hell_ do you ‘sort of apply’ for a job?” 

Jim grimaced, scratching his nose. “It was back four months ago, after that diplomatic mission on –“

Understanding clicked. “On Zeta Bootis III.” 

Jim had been so determined before that mission, sure that he would be able to get the people there to join the Federation sooner rather than later. It would have been a coup for him, getting that mineral-rich planet and its numerous colonies on board. Something fell through, though, and Jim came back, clearly taking it as a personal failure. But the dumb idiot refused to talk about it. Afterwards, Jim’s heart just wasn’t in his job anymore

Jim let out a sigh. “Yeah. I let it get to me, Bones. That and along with doing the same damn thing day after day. I guess I lost sight of what a privilege it was to be a captain of a starship and to be able to explore new things.” He reached up and brushed Leonard’s hair off his forehead. “I got caught up in whether I was really meant to be there on the bridge of the _Enterprise_ , considering I got into Starfleet on a dare.” 

And got caught up trying to live his dad’s life. Leonard searched Jim’s face. “And now?” he asked. 

“And now… ” Jim trailed off softly. “Now I know that’s where I want to be. Where I need to be.” 

At least something good came out of all this crap with Krall, Edison, or whatever the hell they wanted to call him. It showed Jim his rightful place on the bridge of a ship. No more doubts about who the real Captain James T. Kirk was. No more living in his father’s shadow, at least in Jim’s mind. He proved his worth to himself. 

“What about that Vice-Admiral’s position?” Leonard inquired. “You know after what you did, saving Yorktown, the job’s gonna be yours.” 

“I’ll just have to respectfully decline it.” Jim’s face fell. “Unless you’d want to stay here?” 

“What? _No_ ,” Leonard said emphatically. “Why would that have any bearing on things? I go where you go, Jim.” Leonard thought that was a known fact. Wait. “Was that part of the reason you applied for the position?”

“Yeah.” Jim paused as he fiddled with the edge of the pillowcase under his chin. “I thought you’d appreciate being able to stay in one place rather than ‘gallivanting around the universe.’” 

Oh fuck. Jim was parroting one of Leonard’s standard complaints to Jim when he had pulled some foolish stunt. Guilt burned in Leonard’s craw. 

He needed to set the record straight once and for all. 

“Jim, if this incident has taught me one thing, it’s that I’m a hellava lot safer when Jim Kirk is at the command of a ship. A ship that’s maneuverable so that it can take the fight to the bad guys. Not stuck waitin’ on some snow globe in space like some damn sittin’ duck.” He used a finger to trace the lingering black eye on Jim’s cheek before sliding his hand alongside Jim’s face. “I’m with you, kid. Wherever you go, I’ll follow.” He leaned forward to place a small kiss on Jim’s lips. 

“But bitching all the way,” Jim said with a knowing smile as Leonard pulled away. 

“True. Can’t stop that when I’m around you,” Leonard shot back. He reached over Jim’s waist and rubbed his hand over Jim’s lower back. 

“Hmmm,” Jim hummed contently before pushing Leonard over onto his back and settling down over top of him. Jim rested his forearms alongside Leonard’s head, and he used his fingers to trace around the outside of Leonard’s ears. Leonard shivered with the touch. Jim placed little kisses along Leonard’s brow, taking special care to place a longer one between his eyebrows where Jim said his “scowl of doom” formed. 

Leonard loved the weight of Jim, settling down on him, and the feel of their skin-to-skin contact. He ran his hands up and down Jim’s back, feeling the strong muscles underneath that warm skin. He kept them from dipping low enough to touch Jim’s ass. Jim rolled his hips with the movement, and Leonard could feel both of them start to harden between them. On his hands’ third downward trip, Leonard slipped one of his fingers between Jim’s glutes, teasing him with a caress around Jim’s opening. 

“Oh fuck,” Jim breathed out before laying his forehead against Leonard’s. “I hate to say this, but I have to get going. Commodore Paris is expecting me…” He looked at the room’s chronometer on the side table. “Shit! In fifteen minutes. Damn it, we forgot to set the alarm.” Jim gripped Leonard’s face and gave him a long kiss before breaking away and leaping off of the bed. 

What the hell?

“Sure, way to leave a guy hanging, Jim!” He rubbed his hand over his protesting erection. 

Jim glanced back with heated longing. “And you do hang well, Bones.” It looked as though Jim had to mentally shake himself before he turned back around and walked to the bathroom. Well, at least that was something.

“I expect a raincheck today, Jim.” The door swished close on Jim’s laugh. “Cockblocked by a commodore,” he mumbled. 

Leonard got out of bed, slipping on his underwear from the night before, grumbling all the way to the kitchen. He made a pot of coffee, and was just taking the first sip of his cup, when Jim appeared in the kitchen, confident and handsome in his station uniform. 

The black eye did wonders for the look. The idiot had refused to let Simmons heal it yesterday for some unknown, most likely stupid, reason. Leonard learned that much from Jim’s chart. Maybe he could get the reason out of Jim later.

Jim grabbed the cup out of Leonard’s hand, taking him by surprise. “Hey!” Leonard complained. “Get your own.”

“No time,” Jim said as he glanced at the chronometer on the cooking unit. “I’ve got five minutes to get to Commodore Paris’s office.” He took a long sip. 

“Lucky for you then, it’s right around the corner.” 

Jim smiled before handing Leonard back his cup and giving him a quick kiss. Leonard put the cup down on the counter and walked with Jim to the door. Before they triggered the sensor, Jim turned. “How about if I stop at a store and pick up some clothes for us before I come back? We’ll be officially on leave after my meeting with the Commodore, and I don’t think you’ll want to be stuck in a uniform the whole day….Unless you want to go shopping?” 

“No! You go ahead. Shop all you want.” He couldn’t get the damn words out of his mouth fast enough. It was one less thing Leonard would have to do. Besides, that boy sure did like to shop, and Leonard most definitely did _not_. Jim knew his size and taste in clothing better than Leonard did anyway. 

Another quick but meaningful kiss, and Jim was out the door, leaving Leonard feeling a little bereft with just his thoughts. He let out a big sigh as he turned away from the door. Better get on with it. He had people to call. He had promised Jim, and this was one birthday promise he wasn’t going to break. 

Birthday. Leonard stopped dead in his tracks, halfway across the living room. Hmm. A plan – God knows, a foolish one – unfolded in his mind. It’d go against everything Jim normally did on his birthday, but Jim looked so happy this morning with the idea that they would be going public. He deserved that and so much more, _especially_ on his birthday. Maybe, just maybe, Leonard could kill two birds with one stone like his mama liked to say. 

Swinging by the kitchen, he grabbed his cup and continued to drink his coffee as he made his way into the bedroom. Putting on yesterday’s uniform, his only available option for clothes right now, he contemplated his choices. Scotty or Uhura first? Communicator or the comm unit on the desk? He paused for a moment. Hmm. Uhura first by comm unit. She’d be pissed if he didn’t tell her their news before anyone else, and Scotty wouldn’t care. Besides, he needed to ask her to get the venue for the surprise he was concocting for Jim. 

Leonard stopped by the kitchen, filling up his cup and grabbing a protein bar from the sparsely stocked kitchen shelves. Another thing they needed to do – get some groceries. 

He wandered slowly back into the living room, eating the bar as he looked out the massive windows. He could see signs of Krall’s attack on the station, and the Franklin was still floating half on the city plaza below their windows. The swarm ship itself was gone. Thank God. But other than that, it was as if nothing had happened. People were making their way through the winding streets like they did every day, and the tram system zipped around the area with dizzying speed. Life continued to go on in Yorktown. 

Leonard took the last bite and washed it down with a swallow of coffee. He had some calls to make. He walked to the side of the room. 

Old anxiety reared its ugly head. It was second nature to hide what Jim and he had, but damn it, that needed to change. Leonard took in a calming breath and steeled his resolve. The first one was always the hardest, but hopefully, it would get easier after that. 

At least, that’s what he was going to keep telling himself. 

Putting his cup on the desk, he sat down in front of the comm unit and pulled up the listings for the _Enterprise_ crew. He placed a call to Uhura’s quarters. Spock’s face filled the screen. 

Interesting, as the Vulcan himself would say.

“Doctor,” Spock said in his placid voice. 

“Spock,” Leonard acknowledged. “How are you feeling?”

“Quite well.” Spock dipped his head slightly. “Thank you.” 

“Good to hear.” He’d love to give Spock shit right now, but he needed to get this over with. While he still had the courage. “Say, is Nyota there?” 

“Yes, she is,” Spock replied as he turned to look off to his side. Leonard watched her come into view, graceful and beautiful in a soft, flowing blue tunic. 

“Leonard, is everything okay?” she asked. Spock stood up, letting her take the chair, and he made to leave. He had on his station uniform, most likely off to his own debriefing. 

“Yeah, everything is fine. Wait, Spock,” Leonard called out. “If you have time, you might as well hear this, too.” Spock came back to stand behind Nyota, placing his hand gently on her shoulder. Both of them had concerned but curious looks on their faces. His heart started beating faster. Leonard took a deep breath and released it. “Well, you see. Umm, the thing of it is – uh – ” His fingers fiddled with Jim’s stack of PADDs on the desk. _Oh, for God’s sake. Just spit it out,_ “Jim and I are together. We have been for a while.” 

There. Was that so damn hard? And no, he wasn’t going to answer that. 

Nyota glanced up over her shoulder at Spock, and Leonard watched him give her shoulder a light squeeze. They both turned back to the screen, Nyota with a gentle smile, Spock with a gloating smirk. Well, it would be if he wasn’t Vulcan. 

“We know, Leonard,” Nyota informed him. 

“You do?” Leonard mentally kicked himself for the way his voice squeaked at the end. 

“Yes, Doctor. We’ve suspected as much,” Spock said. 

“You suspected as much?” Great, now he was sounding like a parrot. 

“There were signs,” Nyota said, her tone gentle.

“One of which is that you are calling from what is listed as Jim’s quarters. The second is the fact that the two of you schedule all your shore leaves together, away from the rest of the crew. Nyota informed me that this is what humans do when they want privacy to copu…”

Leonard sputtered as Nyota broke in, reaching up to pat Spock’s hand. “There were other clues, Leonard. The way that the Captain would look at you when he didn’t think anyone was around to notice. The way that you’d react when he got hurt…” She trailed off, her eyes narrowing as she zeroed in on the expression he wasn’t quick enough to hide.

Leonard’s head sagged for a moment, thinking of Jim’s latest batch of “hurts.” It was still a raw wound, just barely healing for him. He raised his eyes up and recognized the pain and understanding in the deep brown ones looking back at him. 

“It was killing you, not being able to show it freely, wasn’t it?” she asked in a soft voice.

“Yeah, and ironically, I was the damn fool who didn’t want people to know.” Leonard said, resting his elbow on the desk as he pinched his bottom lip. Sighing, he let go and rested his cheek on his fist. “But even so, it’s still not gonna be easy telling people about us.” 

Nyota leaned closer to her monitor and gave him a big smile. “If the two of you _are_ going public, you don’t have to tell anyone else. Someone can just let Keenser know, and the whole ship will have the news by 18:00.” 

That was true. Something loosen in his chest. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad. He sat up, resting his forearms on the table. “Yeah, you’re right. That could work. Scotty is the next one on my list to call, but before I go, I need a little help with something else.”

Spock was the one that answered. “Of course, Doctor. What is it?”

“It’s Jim’s birthday, as you probably know. His 30th. He doesn’t like to celebrate it on the day for various reasons, but I think today we need to make an exception.” 

Both Spock and Nyota brightened at that. “Agreed,” Spock replied.

“What can we do to help?” Nyota asked. 

“I told him I was going to take him out for a drink and maybe something to eat, but instead, I thought it would be nice for his friends on the crew to meet us somewhere to celebrate with him.”

“Oh, I can find us a lounge or meeting room for that,” Nyota said, her beautiful face lighting up. “How about a cake? What about food?” 

Leonard laughed at her enthusiasm. “I was going to ask Scotty to help with the booze and food. You know how fussy he is about that.” Nyota and Spock nodded knowingly. “But if you could arrange for the venue and the cake and call his friends about the time and place, I’d love you forever.” 

“Consider it done, Leonard,” Nyota confirmed as she punched things into a PADD she took off the desk. “When would you like it to start?”

“I don’t know how long Jim’s meeting with the Commodore will last, and we still have some issues with shopping, so… How about having everyone there before 14:00? We’ll show up a little later.”

“Unfortunately, Doctor, that time is not conducive to me. I have a debriefing and a mission’s report that needs to be completed by 15:00. Perhaps if you are still in attendance after that time, I will be able to join you.” 

“Sure, Spock.” Leonard waved his hand. “Whatever works. I’m sure we’ll be there past that. I’d do this by myself, but unfortunately, I don’t know when Jim will get back, and I’d like to keep this a surprise if I can.”

“Of course,” Nyota said. “It will be my pleasure to help you out. And if you don’t mind, Leonard, I’ll pass on the news of your relationship to the crewmembers I contact.”

A wave of relief rushed over him. “Please do.” He’d have to handle comments and congratulations at the party, but that was a hell of a lot better than having to broach the subject with everyone else. “I’m going to let you go. I need to call Scotty before Jim gets home. And by the way, thank you both.” 

Nyota and Spock said their goodbyes, and the comm went dark. A feeling of satisfaction warmed him. That went better than expected. Leonard stood and walked to the kitchen to fill his cup, and with renewed vigor, tackled the next call. He’d use his communicator for this one. Who knew where the Scotsman would be at this time of the day. He could be anywhere on the station. 

He pulled it from his pocket and flipped it open. “McCoy to Mr. Scott.”

“Aye, Doctor. What can I do for ye?”

Leonard jumped right into it as he returned to the desk and placed his cup down on it. “I’m throwing a surprise birthday party for Jim today, and I wanted to know if you’d be able to help by arranging the food and the drinks? I’ll pay you back, of course.”

“Sure!” Scotty’s enthusiasm was loud and clear over the communicator. 

“Nyota’s arranging for the cake and the venue. Coordinate with her. We’re holding it at 14:00, and I know that doesn’t give you a lot of time…”

“Pff, ‘tis no problem, Doctor. I’ve got th’ connections. Consider it done,” Scotty declared. “Well, if I got some preparations to do, I best get to it then.”

“Wait, Scotty. Before you go, I want you to know that Jim and I are together.” He waited for Scotty to reply.

“Aye?” Scotty questioned as if he was waiting for further instructions.

Leonard rolled his eyes, even if the man couldn’t see him. “As in we’re in a relationship together.” 

“Aye?” Now it sounded like he was completely confused.

What didn’t the man understand? “We sleep together. We’re an item.” He wasn’t going to use the _B word_. A blush started to burn up his neck. He couldn’t make it any clearer without going into detail, and no way in hell he’d do that. 

“Oh, already knew that one, sir.” 

What? Leonard threw up his hand. “Does everyone on the damn ship already know?”

“Well, I cannae say for everyone, but those of us around ye have known for quite a while now, aye,” he said as if he was surprised by the question. “You know what they say about the best kept secrets…”

Especially on that ship.

Oh, God. He pinched his brow with his free hand, using his thumb and ring finger to rub back and forth across his eyebrows. No way was he going to tell Jim this. The big-headed fool would just rub it in, pointing out all the time they wasted. 

“Oh, Doctor? Will it be okay to tell people now?” Scotty broke into his internal mortification. 

“Yeah, go ahead. Be my guest.” He rubbed his brow harder. “Tell the two people in the geology lab on gamma shift. It sounds like they were the only ones left that don’t know … if that even,” he mumbled under his breath to himself. 

“Great, the wee man will be excited. I think he had this quarter in the ship’s pool about when it would be public.”

Leonard’s hand thumped down to the desk. “There’s a damn betting pool?” Leonard asked, his voice rising in volume. 

“Yeah, quite a few credits in the pot, too.”

His cheeks were burning. He was so damn glad he was doing this over the communicator. Leonard froze. Hold on. Who else was hearing this on Scotty’s end? “Where the hell are you right now?”

“Sitting in the present the Capt’n gave me.” 

The swarm ship. Thank God.

“Anyone with you?”

“No, just me.” Thank God for small favors, but Leonard didn’t appreciate the amusement he could hear in the man’s voice. 

“Fine, just let me know what I owe you and check in with Uhura to find the place.”

“Will do, Doctor, and congratulations, sir.”

“Thanks.” Leonard signed off, dropping his communicator on the desk, and buried the supernova that was pretending to be his face in his hands. Oh fuck. If telling other people about the two of them ended up like that, he might be the first case of death from terminal embarrassment. 

His long sigh echoed through the room. He knew this wasn’t going to be easy. Nyota’s call made him forget that. The familiar uneasiness started to bloom inside him. No. He needed to keep reminding himself that he was doing this for Jim, for the two of them. 

Hell, he needed a good stiff drink. That would help. He glanced at the desk chronometer, seeing that half of the morning had slipped away. Shit, it was still too damn early in the day to start drinking, even for him. All right, guess he just needed to get ready instead. 

Now that was an idea. He could use a shower, and a nice long water one. If he couldn’t bolster himself with a drink, then that was the next best thing. These highfalutin quarters that Commodore Paris had given Jim had one, too. Leonard had noticed that last night during the brief time Jim had let him out of bed. 

He was going to partake in that luxury right now because he damn well deserved it. Grabbing his communicator, he got up and started down the hallway, leaving his cooling cup of coffee on the desk. 

And if he was lucky, his stupid blush would be gone by the time by the time he was done. And if not, he’d blame it on the hot shower. 

~*~  
Leonard stepped out of the large, palatial shower stall that was fit for a king and dried himself off. He slipped his towel around his waist, securely tucking in the end. After an insanely long shower, the feeling of Altamid’s dirt was off his skin and out of his pores for the first time in three days. At least it made him feel cleaner than the sonic shower he had yesterday. 

Leonard stood in front of the bathroom sink, missed droplets making a trail from his hair down his neck. He swiped his hand across the mirror before him, rubbing away the little bit of condensation left that the environmental system hadn’t whisked away. His stubble was dark over the lower half of his face, and he ran his pruney fingers over the rough hairs along his jaw.

“Jim has to have a razor around here somewhere,” Leonard mumbled to himself, picturing Jim’s clean-shaven face as he left for Commodore Paris’s office. 

He opened the nearest drawer and started to dig through the contents. Ah, there it was. He grabbed it as the door to the bathroom swished opened, and Leonard startled at the unexpected sound. Jim gave him an impish smile and leaned his broad shoulders against the side of the doorway, holding back the door. His grey uniform was unzipped down to his belt, showing the gold undershirt underneath. 

“How did your meeting go?” Leonard asked. 

“Good.” Jim nodded, turning his eyes to the razor in Leonard’s hand. “Commodore Paris was very understanding, and they’ve given us the new ship being built here. They’re naming it the _Enterprise_ with the call letters NCC 1701-A.” 

“The _Enterprise-A_ , huh? Congratulations, Jim!” Jim had to be ecstatic about that. Leonard couldn’t be happier for Jim. For all of them.

“Thanks,” Jim said distractedly as he nodded at the razor. “What are you gonna do with that?” 

Leonard was confused as he held up the razor in question. “Shave. Unless you don’t want me to use your razor?” But that didn’t make sense. Leonard used Jim’s stuff all the time and vice versa. 

Jim strutted over to him, pulling the razor out of his hand and putting it back in the drawer. “You can use it later,” he said as he took Leonard’s hand and led him quickly out of the bathroom, down the hall, and into the bedroom. 

His eyes traced from Leonard’s bare feet all the way up to Leonard’s eyes, and they were burning with something more than excitement about their new ship. He pushed Leonard up against the wall, aligning their bodies, and Leonard could feel the hardness in Jim’s pants, pressing firmly against his hip. 

“So, the meeting with Commodore Paris has gotten you all excited, huh?” Leonard said, his voice lowering to rumble as Jim rubbed his clean, shaved face against Leonard’s short, prickly beard. 

“Hardly. I believe you said I owed you a raincheck,” Jim muttered as he breathed in Leonard’s freshly showered scent. “God, Bones. You smell so good.” 

Leonard’s head tipped back as Jim licked his way down the side of Leonard’s neck, lapping up the drops still clinging there. “Yeah, nothing like being fresh and clean.” He groaned as Jim rolled his hips against Leonard, and Leonard’s dick respond like an eager cadet, standing at attention. 

Jim captured his mouth, kissing him, sweeping his tongue into Leonard’s willing mouth as if he needed the taste in order to keep living. Leonard was breathless when they broke apart. 

“God, Jim. Where is all this coming from?” He hadn’t seen Jim like this for a long time. 

A wicked smile turned up the corners on Jim’s lips. “We’re alive. We’re together. It’s my birthday, and I _really_ want to open up my present.”

“What?” Leonard was perplexed. Jim took a small step away with that smile still on his face. Leonard wanted to pull him back in his arms. His skin was starting to cool after the warmth of Jim’s body pressed up against him. 

Jim slid his fingers over the top edge of Leonard’s towel. “My present,” he said before pulling the ends apart and letting the towel drop around Leonard’s feet. He looked at Leonard’s ridged cock with blazing desire before letting his eyes rake back up over Leonard’s chest to his face. “My present,” he repeated as he sank to his knees, keeping his heated gaze on Leonard. 

Those blue eyes seared into Leonard’s, and Leonard struggled to take in a breath. “Shouldn’t I be doin’ this to you since it’s your birthday and all?” 

Jim shook his head slowly. “Nope. My present.” 

He reached forward with a hand and pulled Leonard’s straining member toward him. Using just the tip of his tongue, he circled the head with the lightest of touch, and the sensation shot all the way through Leonard’s body. His head slammed back again the wall, but he barely recognized the pain. His brain, his body, his soul was fixated on the sensations Jim was causing in him. Jim played with the slit, tunneling his tongue gently into it as if he was trying to get every drop that was leaking out of it. He pulled back and a shimmering thread followed before his tongue swirled around and licked it up. 

“Jim,” Leonard breathed out. 

Passion, love, and a bit of mischief practically flowed from Jim’s eyes, and Leonard couldn’t glance away if he tried. Jim moved forward, enveloping the head of Leonard’s member. His tongue circled the glans, teasing him, and Leonard swore stars burst around them when Jim flicked the tip of his tongue repeatedly along the ridge, playing with the nerve endings there. 

“Oh Lordy!”

Leonard slid his hands into Jim’s hair. Not for guidance – hell, no one needed to guide Jim in regards to a blow job – but to give Leonard somewhere to put them, to give him something to do with them. Jim continued his soft exploration until Leonard thought he’d go out of his mind. He lost any cognitive function when Jim suddenly engulfed Leonard’s entire cock in his mouth, sucking hard enough to hollow his cheeks. 

“Shit!” Leonard cried out as his hands, gripping Jim’s hair, went along with the ride as Jim bobbed up and down, relentlessly. His brain disengaged from time itself until the heat and suction of Jim’s mouth made Leonard’s orgasm explode from him. His knees weakened, and Jim caught him before he slid down the wall to the floor. Jim kissed him slowly, his tongue sharing the taste with him. 

Somehow Jim got Leonard to their bed, and while Leonard laid there, waiting for his body and brain to reboot, Jim slowly stripped out of his uniform and crawled up the bed to Leonard’s side. Jim rubbed his hand over Leonard’s chest, running the tips of his fingers through Leonard’s chest hair – back and forth, back and forth – helping Leonard’s breathing slow back to normal. 

“Didn’t know other people got presents on your birthday,” Leonard quipped as he turned to face Jim. He pushed Jim onto his back. “Doesn’t seem fair that the birthday boy doesn’t get one, too.” He kissed Jim’s upper lip and then his defined chin, sucking gently on both of them, before making his way down Jim’s sternum to the solid muscles of his abdomen. 

Jim slid his hands through Leonard’s hair. “And we’re all about fair,” Jim answered with a hitch of breathless anticipation. He pushed, trying to get Leonard to his destination faster. 

Leonard ignored him, kissing along the iliac crest of Jim’s hip, following the crease down to his inner thigh. He made sure to rub his stubble along the way, and Jim’s hips shuddered with the sensation. Oh, that was why Jim didn’t want him to shave. He rubbed more for added measure. 

“Bones.” Jim moaned his name as Leonard licked over his scrotum, making sure to concentrate on the raphe, the ridge-like seam in the middle. “Oh God!” Jim tightened his grip on Leonard’s head. Leonard continued to play there, away from his final objective, all to Jim’s growing frustration. 

“God damn it, Bones!” Jim was practically pulling out Leonard’s hair, trying to get him where he wanted Leonard to be. “If you don’t suck me soon, I’m – ” Leonard engulfed Jim’s dick, going from zero to warp factor nine, working the member exactly as Jim liked, trying to suck the come straight out of Jim’s balls. “Oh, fuck!” Jim exclaimed moments later as he erupted in Leonard’s mouth. 

Leonard gently cleaned Jim off with his tongue as Jim’s chest heaved raggedly. “Happy birthday…to me.” Jim could barely breathe out the words. 

He scooted up to lay at Jim’s side, resting one hand on Jim’s chest and propping his head up on the other. He watched as a minute or so went by until Jim’s breathing slowed back to normal. “How do those ribs feel?”

Jim was too blissed out to even try to lie. “A little sore if I move too sharply, but way better than before.”

Leonard used a finger to trace the black eye. “Why didn’t you let Nurse Simmons heal this for you?”

Jim stilled for a moment before answering, “Initially, I left it for you to heal.” He gave Leonard a small, chiding look about his behavior yesterday. “But now, I think I’m going to keep it. To remind myself about the crew members that aren’t around to be healed.” 

Needing to share comfort with him, Leonard reached over and slid his hand into Jim’s, intertwining their fingers. Jim drew their hands to his chest where they laid over his heart. “Yeah,” Leonard said, his voice quiet in the room. 

There was nothing either one of them could say that would diminish their feelings of loss and regret. It was just something Starfleet officers had to learn to deal with. 

After a few moments, Leonard changed the subject. “So, how was the rest of your meeting with Commodore Paris? Did she offer the Vice-Admiral’s position to you?”

“Yeah, she said it was mine to take.”

“Oh, yeah?” Leonard replied, leaving it open for Jim to explain.

A small smile turned up the corner of Jim’s lips. “I told her that it didn’t sound as fun as being captain.”

Leonard snorted to himself. Only Jim Kirk would decline a promotion like that. His thoughts turned to more serious, personal issues. “What else did you talk about?”

Jim inhaled and pulled their hands tight against his chest. “I told her about us.”

Leonard’s heart rate quickened. He waited a few seconds for Jim to elaborate. “And…? What did she say?” Anxiety was starting to tighten his chest. This was his biggest fear, having Command know and insist on breaking them apart.

Jim pulled their hands up to his lips and gave Leonard’s a kiss. “It’s okay, Bones. She was a little worried at first because of the unique position that the CMO has with the Captain, but I made her pull up our logs. I showed her the number of times I’ve ordered you into dangerous situations. Yesterday was just the latest example. And I pointed out the incidents in the last two years that you overruled my ass, fulfilling your duties without caring about our relationship.”

And he had overruled Jim. On a number of occasions when he needed to. Leonard blew out a relieved breath. “That worked?” 

The outside corners of those damn blue eyes crinkled in amusement. “Well, that and pointing out your crotchety reputation and how you don’t take crap from captains, admirals, diplomats and the like.”

“Hey!” Leonard said in protest. 

“Bones, do I need to remind you of the time with Admiral Jenkins and how you refused to…?” Jim started to say.

“Okay, okay. You made your damn point.” They didn’t need to rehash that time at the Academy where he stood up to that pompous ass of an admiral, refusing to discharge a cadet who clearly needed more time to heal. The argument had been epic, and Leonard had won. 

“My point is, Bones,” Jim said as he turned to face Leonard, “that your professional and moral ethics are second to none, and you will fulfill your duties even if someone tries to go against them.” He kissed Leonard, moaning softly when he tasted himself on Leonard’s lips. Drawing back, he shook his head as though he was trying to clear it and continued, “Everyone in Starfleet knows that about you, and _that_ , more than anything, reassured her. She promised to stand up for us if anyone in Command tried to object.”

Having a commodore on their side did a lot to ease any jitters Leonard had about going public about them. 

Jim nudged Leonard with their hands. “Now, it’s your turn.” Jim looked at Leonard with a mixture of hopefulness and a touch of trepidation. 

He couldn’t have Jim fearful that Leonard’s misgivings would keep him silent about them. “Well, you should know that the whole damn crew and probably half of the station’s personnel most likely know by now. Uhura was kind enough to offer to pass the word, and it’s a matter of time to see who tells the most since Scotty knows as well.” 

Another big smile broke out on Jim’s face before a twinkle came in his eyes. “How much trouble did you have spitting it out?”

Leonard yanked his hand out of Jim’s and used it to push him away. “Shut up,” he said more in jest than in anger. 

Jim laughed and tugged Leonard back to his chest. “So, I guess it’s official. People know. Starfleet Command knows, so we don’t have to hide this.” His smile, if anything, was even brighter than before. “Expect to be sleeping with me every night, Bones. Just warning you. I want to wake up with you in the mornings.”

Leonard had to kiss that smile. He drew back and rubbed his thumb over Jim’s bottom lip. “Yeah, I’m so looking forward to that walk of shame back to my quarters.” 

“We can sleep in yours because it won’t bother me,” Jim said as he quirked his eyebrows. 

It didn’t take a telepath to know what that meant. Leonard had years of experience watching Jim’s behavior. He glared. “You plan to strut down the corridors, don’t you? Like some damn proud rooster.” 

“Who me?” Jim tried to ask innocently, but his façade broke under Leonard’s intense glare. Jim tipped back his head and roared. “God, Bones. You know me so well.” The open and happy look just radiated from Jim, and every last trace of wariness and trepidation vanished. 

Leonard hadn’t seen that expression on Jim’s face for a damn long time. Maybe Jim’s ennui these past months wasn’t totally because of him questioning why he was out here. Maybe it was also partially due to the constraints of their hidden relationship. Leonard vowed never to put Jim in that situation again. 

But that didn’t mean he had to listen to Jim crowing about it all. He pushed Jim to his back and jumped over top of him, kissing the daylights – and laughter – out of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank each and every one of you for reading and taking the time to leave your thoughts, comments, and kudos about the story. I really appreciate it. 
> 
> As for the third chapter, RL next weekend is stacking up to be very busy, so my plans are to post that final chapter a little bit earlier.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was it. Their first public appearance together as a couple at Jim’s surprise birthday party. He could do this. He could hold it together for Jim’s sake and make it through the afternoon. It would get easier after that. Wouldn’t it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, I borrowed – took – dialogue directly from _Star Trek Beyond_ movie, which should be credited to the great screenplay writers, Simon Pegg and Doug Jundt. 
> 
> This is my last opportunity to thank my spectacular beta, Caitri, for all the patience and kindness she extends to me every time I send her an email, asking for her insights and opinions. I’m not kidding when I say that woman is brilliant. Not only can she smooth out any clunky writing, but she makes recommendations to add little bits of information that are exactly what a scene needs. I am in awe at how her mind works. The fact that she shares that talent with me, helping me out with these stories, makes me feel so damn lucky. I’m very thankful to call her a friend. 
> 
> And just to set the record straight, I tinkered with this so any and all mistakes are my own.

After his second shower in only a few hours and clean shaven this time, Leonard wandered back into the bedroom where Jim was getting dressed. God, he was glad he told Nyota 14:00 for the party instead of 12:00, like he initially planned. The way that Jim was going, they’d never get out of that bed. 

He watched as Jim pulled his standard t-shirt – surprisingly, this one was grey instead of white – down over his firm chest. Jim tucked it into his tight-fitting jeans, and Leonard swallowed hard at the sight. Jim looked damn good.

Okay, maybe he had a part in that whole “not getting out of bed” thing they seemed to have going on today. 

“Those are yours,” Jim said, breaking into Leonard’s trance. He pointed at two large, green shopping bags that were on the bed across from him. Jim sat down on his side and removed a pair of black boots from another bag. Leonard made his way over to look at what Jim had bought as he put on his new boots. 

Leonard opened up the nearest bag, seeing what looked like pants, a shirt, and other necessities. He pulled out a pair of boxer briefs and threw aside his towel. As he donned them, he asked, “Just one set of clothes?”

“Yeah, sorry about that. My meeting with Commodore Paris went a little longer, and the shopping took up more time than I expected. I was in a rush to get back here,” Jim said over his shoulder as he tied his boot, giving Leonard a wink. 

Leonard rolled his eyes before putting on his own grey Henley shirt and khaki pants. “Guess that means we’ll be shopping again later. Oh joy!” Jim just laughed as he stood up from the bed. Leonard pulled out socks and his own pair of boots from the second bag. 

“Bones, wait,” Jim said, pointing at the first one. “You missed something.”

Frowning in confusion, Leonard went back to the first bag and pulled it open. There at the bottom, tucked into the corner, was another item. “What? You’re buyin’ me jewelry now?” Leonard asked as he pulled out a medallion on a silver chain. “What d’ya think, just because Spock got his girlfriend one…” Disbelief settled over him. “No, a tracking device? _Seriously?_ Is this your idea of being subtle?” 

Jim didn’t even try to deny it. He shrugged his shoulders. “Hey, it would have come in handy the last couple of days.”

“Seems to me that _you’re_ the one that needs a tracking device, considering how many damn times we lose you on away missions.”

Jim pulled out a thin, anchor-chained bracelet from one of his bags. It looked like the same metal in Leonard’s medallion. He wrapped it around his wrist and locked it into place with its sturdy fastener. “I thought something like this would work best for me.” He shook his arm to settle the bracelet in place and showed it to Leonard. It was subtle enough to hide under his Starfleet uniform. “Might stay on better, considering how many times someone or something grabs me around the neck.” 

“Yeah, usually when they’re trying to wring it.” 

“True.”

“Is it radioactive?” Leonard asked as he observed the medallion swaying slightly on its chain. He noticed the silver-like border encircled a blue stone, almost the color of Jim’s eyes. 

“Nope. It’s a rare, inert metal from a planet close to here. We’ll be able to scan for it if needed. I’ll give the formula to Chekov and swear him to secrecy.”

At least that was something. Leonard sighed as he conceded. He opened the clasp and put it on. “Even so, when Spock sees this, he’ll know. He’s goin’ to give me a ton of shit about it,” he complained as he adjusted the necklace in the opening of his shirt. He unbuttoned another button to allow it to lay properly against his chest.

“Well, you did give him shit about Uhura’s.”

Fine. Guess he’d put up with Spock’s smugness if it meant Jim was wearing a tracking device of his own. In Leonard’s book, that counted as a win. 

Surreptitiously, Leonard glanced at the chronometer as he grabbed his communicator off the bedside table. They needed to get going. They were already a little late. “I’m hungry,” he said as he finished getting his socks and boots on. “I heard of a bar near here. Let’s go get that drink and get something to eat.” Uhura had texted him earlier when Jim was in the shower, giving him the directions to the observation lounge she had secured for the party. 

“I’m up for that,” Jim said, reaching into his remaining bag and pulling out two very similar looking jackets. He handed Leonard the larger one. “Here, I got your size, too.”

“What the hell?” Leonard scowled. “Matching jackets?” Leonard grabbed it, holding it out in front of him as if it might bite. Jim slipped on his jacket. “We’re gonna look like we’re playing on the same damn team or something,” he groused. 

Jim scoffed. “They’re not matching. See, yours is a little different.” 

“Close enough. Same color. Same material. They’ll make us look like one of those couples that dress alike,” Leonard mumbled. 

“We’re wearing different colored pants, Bones,” Jim pointed out with a sigh. 

Leonard pushed his arms through the first sleeve of the jacket. “Yeah, but the same colored shirts. Hell, maybe no one will notice,” he grumbled as he finished putting it on. 

“Stop bitching,” Jim chided with laughter in his voice. “Let’s go. I’m hungry.” He grabbed Leonard’s hand and led him out of their quarters and into the corridor. 

They took the turbolift down to the ground floor and exited their building into the central plaza. Jim didn’t drop Leonard’s hand, nor did Leonard pull his away, and Jim squeezed his hand in appreciation. A couple of times they got smiles, mainly from familiar Starfleet personnel, when Jim purposely held up their hands. With every smile, Jim would preen. 

Leonard just rolled his eyes. It wasn’t stopping people on the street to tell them, but it was pretty damn close. Still, he couldn’t begrudge the joy Jim obviously got from it. He had denied Jim this for too long. He tightened his hold on Jim’s hand and pulled the man closer. 

They left the plaza and continued their way down the sidewalk of the city ring through the diverse crowd of pedestrians that looked like they were from all walks of life. It was busy this afternoon, another indication that life was getting back to normal on the space station after the close call yesterday. 

From the sounds of it, they were going to be a part of the busy life here. Jim and Scotty would most likely be staying close by, overseeing the construction of their ship. And wherever Jim was, Leonard was going to be there, too.

When they got to a tall, silver-grey building, nestled up alongside one of the ship lanes, Leonard indicated with his free arm. “In here.” They walked through the double doors, and he led Jim down the hallway. “How long do you figure we’ll be living here? I’ll need to check in with Yorktown’s Medical Services to arrange to get on their schedule.”

“Commodore Paris figures they should have the new _Enterprise_ completed within nine months.” 

Leonard contemplated that. “Well, at least that’s nine months we won’t have to be gallivanting around space and nine months off our mission.” 

Jim frowned at Leonard, who motioned again for them to turn left at the corridor intersection. “No, it’s not. Bones, there is no clock ticking right now. Our mission and the time we are out here are on hold until the ship is finished.” 

Leonard yanked his hand out of Jim’s and stopped for a moment in disbelief. “What? You didn’t try to get our time out here reduced?” It took him a second to follow Jim, and he had to duck his head under an angled support beam, masquerading as an artsy-fartsy decoration. 

“Why would I get it reduced? Bones, we know our way through the nebula now. Can you imagine what we’ll find?” Jim was practically bubbling with excitement. 

Leonard retorted, “Alien depots hell bent on killing us? Deadly space-borne viruses and bacteria? Incomprehensible cosmic anomalies that could – ” He snapped his fingers. “ – wipe us out in an instant!” He didn’t care if his “crazy eyes,” as Jim called them, were showing. Jim had seen them before. 

None of that seemed to faze Jim, and he smiled at Leonard. “It’s going to be so much fun.” 

Fun? _Fun?_ Unbelievable. 

Jim ignored the incredulous looks Leonard was shooting him as they walked through a courtyard with Yorktown personnel, milling about. “By the way, where are we going?” he asked as Leonard led him to a pair of nondescript, glass doors. Jim noticed that they weren’t anywhere near a bar or restaurant. “I thought we were going out for drink.” 

Their position triggered the glass doors, which swung apart. Doubts about his plans flooded through him for the first time today, and Leonard’s stomach twisted like it was a wrung-out mop. Still, he knew in his heart that Jim needed this. He just hoped the idiot knew it, too. 

“I know you told me to keep it under wraps, but…” Leonard said, hiding his fear under a jaunty voice, as they stepped through the doorway and entered a small vestibule. Jim was clearly confused, so Leonard nodded towards Jim’s friends from the crew that were waiting for them in the lounge. Their excited calls of “Happy Birthday” flowed over them.

Leonard’s eyes never left Jim’s face, and he breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Jim was noticeably touched by the gathering. 

“Mr. Sensitive?” Jim questioned with a soft voice as they entered the room, stopping in front of the group. 

Scotty stepped forward. “There you go, laddie,” he said as he gave both Jim and Leonard a glass of whiskey. 

Leonard brought his up for a toast. “Everybody, raise a glass to Captain James T. Kirk.”

The crew complied, calling out, “To Captain Kirk!” 

“Thanks, everybody,” Jim said as he dropped his eyes, his rarely seen humble nature peeking through. He fumbled for words for a second before he raised his glass high for his own toast. “To the _Enterprise_.” Jim lowered his glass as he gathered his thoughts. He raised it again before continuing with a subdued smile, “And to absent friends.” Jim looked back and smiled softly at Leonard, his appreciation and love shining bright and true. Leonard clink his glass with Jim’s. 

Their crewmates murmured their replies and took a drink. They stood there, smiling at their commanding officer and friend, visibly relaxed for the first time in three days. 

Looked like they _all_ needed this time together. 

“All right, let’s get this party started,” Scotty called out before dashing off to find some Romulan ale. Only Scotty could have been able to procure illegal liquor. Leonard shook his head, taking another sip of his whiskey. 

Jim joined the group in front of them, smiling his thanks as several of his eager crew patted him on his arms and back, each voicing their individual birthday greetings to him. The crowd surrounded him, but Leonard didn’t lose sight of Jim. He was intensely proud of the caring the crew was showing Jim. Leonard watched as Sulu and his husband Ben took their turn to talk with Jim, and from the sounds of things, Jim was getting congratulations as well as birthday greetings. 

Fuck. Leonard sucked in a big breath. Well, this was it. It looked like it was time for him to gird his loins and join the crowd. He had promised Jim. Leonard took a larger drink from his glass. Maybe with a few more he’d be able to make his feet move. 

“I thought you had to finish your mission report,” Uhura said softly to Spock, drawing Leonard’s attention off to his side, saving him for the moment.

That’s right. Spock didn’t think he could be here at the start. Leonard glanced over, tuning into what they were saying. God, he hoped that the fact Spock was here, socializing with her, meant he had a change of heart about leaving the _Enterprise_ and Starfleet in general. 

He was full out eavesdropping on their conversation when Nyota started to play with her amulet. With that green-blooded, sixth sense of his, Spock’s head shot up, and his eyes connected with Leonard’s. 

Leonard couldn’t help himself. He raised his eyebrows in a look of innocent smugness as he raised his glass to take another sip. A half second later, he remembered the medallion hanging around his own neck. 

Damn. He should have buttoned up his shirt more. He shot forward. Guess it was time to hightail it away from the two love birds and rub shoulders with the crew before Spock opened his big mouth and said something. 

The crew had broken off into little groups, some sitting and some standing. Their conversations were a soft din in the air. Jim was taking time to visit with all of them. Following Jim’s example, Leonard decided to make his way around the room, stopping to check on each group, knowing that some of them had been injured yesterday. 

He paused by a group of science officers and techs. “C’lak, how’s the knee?” 

The astrobiologist stuck it out and twisted it back and forth. “Other than a little stiffness, it feels great.” 

“Did you have your treatment today?” Tears to both the ACL and PCL, even in the 23rd century, still required a number of treatments. When he got an affirmative nod, Leonard continued, “Well, you let me know if anything changes. Keep up the exercises and I expect you in tomorrow morning for that last session with the regenerator.” Leonard pointed at his knee before he saluted C’lak and his marital partner, T’nal, with his glass and left to go to the next group. 

“Dr. McCoy?” C’lak called out. Leonard glanced back. T’nal slipped her arm around C’lak’s waist. “We just wanted to congratulate both you and the Captain.”

His face start to feel flush. “Ah, thanks.” He gave them a smile, ducking under one of the support struts, and made a break for the next group. He took a big sip of his whiskey for needed fortification. It continued like that, him stopping to ask about injuries and the crew expressing their happiness for Jim and his relationship. A couple of the braver ones even mentioned it was about time it was made public. 

Draining the last of his drink, he made his way along the curved wall and over to the far left side of the room. In an alcove, tucked adjacent to the large observation windows, were two large tables holding a variety of bottles of various colors, containing alcoholic and non-alcoholic beverages, and a couple of large chillers. Alongside them were two empty tables that most likely would hold the food that Scotty had ordered. He picked up a half-full bottle of whiskey, ignoring the bottles of blue ale.

“I’m mad at you.” Christine Chapel came up beside him and punched him lightly in the arm. Other nurses and medical techs followed in her wake. 

He sighed. He had been avoiding this particular group. He poured himself a stiff drink. He was going to need it. He raised his glass to them and took a long sip, hoping to avoid having to talk. It worked. Christine punched him again, harder. “Ouch.” He moved his arm away and glared at her.

“How long have you two been hiding this? Do you know I swore up and down that there was nothing between the two of you because – if there was – you’d surely have told _me_ , your closest friend after the captain?” The grin she was spouting negated the rant coming from her. It was just her way. He had taught her well. “Do you know how much the pot was by now? I could have won a lot of credits if you would have just taken pity on your hard-working head nurse. Because I missed out, you’re going to buy me lots of things while we’re here on the station. Got it?” 

He laughed. “Oh, you think so, huh? I don’t do shopping.”

She narrowed her eyes as she scanned him. “Oh, yeah? Then where did you get that boyfriend jacket?” She flicked her eyes over to where Jim was standing, still wearing his own jacket. A couple of the nurses giggled. Leonard turned his head towards them, raising his eyebrow, and the sound choked off. Within a nanosecond, the group scurried away, leaving Christine standing by him alone.

“Jim got them for us. Do you have a problem with that?” He groused right back at her, knowing that she, too, was enjoying their normal banter. 

Christine plucked a bottle of beer from one of the chillers and twisted it open. “Nope,” she said before taking a drink. A big smile crossed her face. “And it looks like you don’t either.” 

Leonard paused as he thought about that. Initially, every time someone had mentioned the two of them being together, he had been uncomfortable. But it had gotten easier each time something was said. Now with Christine, even with her damn “boyfriend jackets” comment, there hadn’t been a lick of embarrassment or discomfort. 

Christine had been watching him closely. She went up on her tiptoes and placed a kiss on his cheek before whispering in his ear. “Congratulations, Len. I’m proud of you. You _both_ deserve to be able to show your feelings for each other in front of others.”

He shook his head at himself. He had been a damn fool for too long. “We both do, don’t we?” She nodded as she patted his arm and turned away. “See you around,” he said as she went back to her group. 

He took a sip of his drink. It did feel darn good to be open and honest for once. He glanced around the lounge, his eyes naturally seeking out where Jim was, standing by Jaylah and Scotty. Jim seemed more relaxed than he had been in weeks, months even. He couldn’t help the happy sigh that escaped from him. 

He let his eyes drift away before they stopped at the solitary figure in front of the large observation windows. Damn, if the Vulcan wasn’t striking a lonely pose. He let out a different kind of sigh, knowing the issues weighing on Spock’s mind, and started over. He pulled up abruptly when Jim moved in that direction. 

Crap, he really hoped the ease he witnessed between Spock and Uhura today meant that Spock had changed his mind. It would hurt Jim to lose him. 

He waited until Jim reached Spock’s side and then moseyed his way towards them, stopping within listening distance. They needed to talk. Both of them had something they needed to tell the other, and he was damn well going to listen in. For both their sakes. 

He watched and listened as Jim expressed his sincere condolences for Ambassador Spock and then asked if that was what Spock wanted to talk to him about. Leonard held his breath, waiting for Spock to reveal his intentions. When Spock said “More or less,” Leonard hoped that was Vulcan for “I changed my mind.”

After Jim echoed the same damn phrase back, he closed the space between them and came up to Jim’s other side. Leonard couldn’t help but smile at Jim’s expression as he gazed in wonder at the new ship, and damn if Leonard didn’t find himself gazing in wonder at Jim. He could do that openly now.

“You really want to head back out there?” Leonard asked, sliding his free hand into his pocket. 

The smile on Jim’s face and the seemingly contented look on Spock’s was answer enough. All three of them stood without talking. Nyota slipped in alongside Spock, and they watched as station personnel continued with the construction on the _Enterprise-A_ in the adjacent bay. Their crew – their family – came up quietly behind them as they watched new possibilities grow with the assembling of their ship.

The clatter of plates broke the quiet peace in the room, and Leonard turned around to see several workers placing what looked like various chips and sandwich fixings on the table. He rolled his eyes to himself. What did he expect when he relied on Scotty for the food? At least it wasn’t something like haggis. 

The very same man called out, “Aye, it looks like the food is here. Let’s eat.” The crew parted like Moses and the Red Sea, letting Jim and Leonard go first. “But before we do, one thing first.” Scotty hurried over to the side door in the curved wall that the workers had used and knocked on it. Leonard and Jim looked at each other, frowning. 

The door swished open, and Hendorff walked out with a large, white sheet cake in his hands. Leonard smiled. He had forgotten about the cake. 

There was blue and gold trimming all around the edges and what looked like small, gold starbursts on the top, making the shape of two large Starfleet chevrons. He and Jim walked closer to the Security Chief, stopping at the side of the table, and Leonard was able to see what was written in the middle. “Happy Birthday, Jim.” A plethora of burning candles covered the open areas on the cake. 

Nyota had done a great job on both the venue and cake on such a short notice. 

Jim laughed and called out, “What? No cupcakes?”

“Only me, sir,” Hendorff responded, not missing a beat. The crowd laughed, well aware of their ongoing joke. He placed the cake gently and carefully in the space left at the end of the second table. “Over here, Captain,” Hendorff said as waved toward the spot he held. He moved to the front of the tables to join the rest of the crew, leaving the back open for Jim. 

Jim hesitated for a moment, so Leonard placed his hand on Jim’s lower back and let the pressure of his fingers direct Jim where to go. Leonard stayed by his side. While the two of them stood there, their friends and crew treated Jim to a rousing chorus of the “Happy Birthday” song done in English, Russian, Swahili and, if Leonard heard correctly, a couple of off-Earth languages, too. 

“Thank you, you guys. I really appreciate all of this,” Jim said. He swallowed before giving them a smile that was wobbly around the edges. Leonard caressed his back in support.

“Make a wish,” Sulu called out, breaking the slight tension of the moment. 

Jim laughed and pulled himself together, placing his drink off to the side of the table. He squinted his eyes and looked up at the ceiling, tapping his forefinger on his chin, as he made a grand show of pondering. For a second, he looked over at Leonard, his eyes searing down to Leonard’s soul, before giving him a quick wink. Then, with slow, exaggerated flare – Jim Kirk style – he blew out his candles. All 30 of them without missing one. 

The crowd clapped, and Jim started to pull the candles from the cake as Leonard stood in a stupor. 

Leonard knew exactly what Jim had said with that look. Jim didn’t need to make a birthday wish because he had already gotten it. Just by Leonard telling a few people, holding Jim’s hand, and touching him in public.

Leonard’s chin dropped to his chest. Such small things. But really, where was the big, grand gesture in that? The gesture that Jim Kirk deserved.

Oh, hell. Go big or go home as they say. 

Leonard took any remaining embarrassment that might hold him back, crumbled it up in a ball, and threw it away. He slid his glass alongside Jim’s. As soon as Jim removed the last candle and placed it on the table, he turned Jim towards him, took Jim’s face in his hands, and gave him a long, slow, gentle kiss. This was his “mountaintop” moment. 

And if he had to, he’d blame the booze later. 

This time, the clapping was a whole lot louder, accompanied by roaring, boisterous cheers. Chekov give them a couple of rowdy wolf whistles as Jim encircled his arms around Leonard, pulling him closer. 

Scotty called out, “Quick, Wee Man! Check to see who had the first public kiss!” Their traitorous friends hooted and howled. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Keenser pull out his PADD as if he had been waiting for this, and Leonard raised his hand and flipped off the whole lot of them. Jim started to smile, breaking the kiss.

As they pulled away, Leonard whispered in Jim’s ear, “Present number three. Did you enjoy it?”

Jim smiled, his eyes sparkling. “Completely.” He took a deep breath and faced the others. “Now,” he said as he grabbed the big knife that was on the table, “who wants cake?”

Leonard plucked the knife from Jim’s hand. “First of all, the birthday boy gets the first and biggest piece. Yes, I know you, Jim,” he said to the side, getting lots of laughs from the crowd. Jim’s sweet tooth was common knowledge on the ship as well as Leonard’s bitching about it. “Secondly, you don’t go anywhere near a big knife like this. I don’t want to have to spend part of your birthday, patchin’ you up when you cut yourself, and you know you will.” He pushed Jim towards the side of the table with the rest of the food. “Now go fill your plate, and when you get to this end, I promise I will cut you a big corner piece with lots of frosting.” 

“Nah, I’ll stay here and help hand out cake, but make sure you save that piece you promised me.” 

Jim remained at Leonard’s side. Leonard cut the pieces with the precision of a surgeon, making sure each one was exactly the same size, other than the monstrous share he cut for the sugar addict beside him. Jim took the plates full of cake and handed them to the crew as they went by the end of their table. 

After dozens of hungry crewmembers, the line started to dwindle, and at the end was Keenser with a small sandwich and three potato chips on his plate. Jim slid a piece of cake onto it. “There you go, Keenser. And by the way, who won the big pot about us going public?”

Leonard spun around, dumbfounded, as Keenser pointed proudly to his chest. 

“What?” Jim asked in confusion when he saw the expression on Leonard’s face. “What?”

“You… _knew_ all along?” Leonard questioned, his voice sputtering.

“No, I suspected that they suspected. By the way – ” He turned back to the engineer and pointed. “ – the next time we’re in a bar, first round’s on you.”

Keenser nodded his head and joined Scotty on one of the couches. Jim held out a plate to Leonard. “Now put that big piece of cake right here. Just might eat it first, and you can’t complain because it’s my birthday.” Leonard did as Jim requested, still somewhat shocked. Jim pulled him to the front of the line to gather their food. “Damn, I’m hungry.” Jim started to pile food onto his plate.

As Leonard picked up his own plate, he asked, “If you suspected, why didn’t you say something to me?”

Jim dropped his eyes a moment before looking up with a tender expression that said Leonard was the idiot now. “I wanted to give you time without any pressure.”

Leonard dropped his plate back on the table and cupped Jim’s face, giving him another kiss. 

“Oi!” Scotty yelled. “We’re eatin’ here. Save that for later.” He added, his voice jovial, “With all due respect, sirs.” 

This time it was Jim that flipped him off. 

After everyone finished eating, a small number of the crew left. Sulu and Ben had to get home to Demora, and a few others talked about evening plans. But the vast majority of them stayed to visit and decompress after the two horrendous days out in space.

Jim was regaling a couple of the med techs and Jaylah with stories from his teenage years, the ones that didn’t contain the pain Jim had gone through, along with the hilarious ones from the Academy. Some people milled around the standing tables; others occupied the couches in front of the now darkened, frosted windows for what looked like more intimate conversations. This was good. The crew needed this relaxed time in order to heal. 

Leonard, though, could use a little time to himself after hours of putting himself out there, being “open and honest” about his private life. He drifted over to the table Spock had occupied earlier for a little of his own solitude and sipped on his drink as he watched the next shift of dock workers pick up the construction on the ship. The little bit of tension in his shoulders started to relax. 

“Doctor.” 

Fuck. The damn Vulcan had snuck up on him. Leonard had been avoiding him. He continued looking out the viewing window to the ship, resting his hands around his glass on the tall table in front of him.

“I see that the Captain is showing his affection and respect for you, too,” Spock said as he stood by Leonard’s side.

“Oh, shut up, Spock. At least I know what this damn thing truly is. Can’t say the same thing for your girlfriend.” He frowned at Spock, hoping he hadn’t made a blunder. “She _is_ your girlfriend again, isn’t she?” 

“Yes, I believe we have mended the difficulties between us.” Spock turned to the window. “I want to thank you for not conveying to the Captain that which we had talked about on the planet.” 

Leonard raised his eyebrow. “Well, it’s a moot point now, isn’t it? You’ll be stickin’ around, right?”

“Yes. I have decided to remain on the _Enterprise_. Ambassador Spock had communicated the importance of his crew on many occasions. If I want to live as he did, to emulate his life, then I believe I must remain with our crew. Also, I believe he would want me to follow in that direction.” 

“Family, Spock. We’re a family, not just a crew.”

“Indeed, Doctor.”

“It’s good you’re staying. Trying to keep that imbecile – ” He pointed over his shoulder with his thumb to where Jim stood, laughing. “– alive is, at the very least, a two-person job. It’s nice to have you around to help carry the load.” Leonard clasped his hand on Spock’s shoulder for a moment. 

“I would have missed you, also, Leonard.” 

“Hey, what are you two talking about?” Jim asked as he came up to Leonard’s other side and slid his arm around Leonard’s waist, giving it a squeeze. 

“How we should get a bonus every time we pull your ass out of the fire,” Leonard quipped as he turned to look at Jim. 

“Yes, unfortunately, I don’t believe the current Starfleet budget would be able to handle those expenditures.” 

“Was that a joke, Spock?” Jim asked as he leaned around Leonard with a big smile to look at his First Officer. 

“No, Jim. I believe I was just providing accurate financial information to what Dr. McCoy said,” Spock answered with a straight face. 

Jim burst out laughing, and Leonard’s grumpy old heart grew happy with the sound. It was nice to have Jim laughing again. Jim continued to tease Spock, and with his deadpan and matter-of-fact manner, Spock gave back as good as he got. It was damn good to see the two of them together like this. 

They all had been through a lot of shit, with losing the ship and too many of their wonderful crew. But they also gained something. For one, they gained back their captain, the one with the boyish enthusiasm for space and exploration. Jim had found himself again, his _true_ self. 

Jim was smiling ear-to-ear at Spock, still teasing him, this time about Nyota. God help him, he loved that man. Leonard slipped his arm around the top of Jim’s shoulders, and Jim stopped his joking long enough to give Leonard a quick kiss.

And speaking of gains, what did Leonard personally get from all of this?

He got the courage and freedom to finally show everyone his love for Jim.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story was born shortly after _Star Trek Beyond_ premiered. Coming home after the second time of seeing it in the theater, I just had to put down my take on what was happening behind the scenes with Jim and Bones. And then I went eight more times, watching, taking notes, so that I could put details into place. (At the same time, I was determine to set a new personal record for movie showings in the theater. I did! 10 is now my record!) Unfortunately, real life kicked in thereafter, and I ended up tinkering with rewrites and drafts here and there for the next ten months. To say that I feel accomplished to finally have it completely posted is an understatement. 
> 
> So, thank you to all of you that read my little story. I hope that you enjoyed seeing my interpretation about what _really_ happened to our two guys during and after the movie. I really appreciate the comments and kudos that people took the time to leave. It means a lot to me.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed my take on the ending of the movie. 
> 
> This is a completed fic, and I will be posting a chapter each week, depending on RL commitments.


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